Tag Archives: self-esteem

The Secret to Changing Your Circumstance!

15 Nov

Years ago I watched Oprah interview a girl who was suffering from anorexia (and probably the worst case I had seen). Another guest was trying to give her advice on how she overcame her bulimia by telling her she needs to nurture her mind. Easier said then done right? The anorexic girl responded with “But How?”

Oprah  had a profound ahaha light bulb moment when she realised that the “But how?” is the reason people continue to struggle.

“But how?”

How can you heal your pain, how can you really stick with your weight loss plan, how can you restore your health, how can you move past your negative circumstance. If we knew how than we wouldn’t be so deeply lost!

It’s a question I get asked a lot. Many people ask me how I healed my body from illness and depression and even how I  stay so thin and stick to eating healthy.

The secret is simple (but also so freak’n hard!)

You need to make a decision that you want something different from your life. Without this simple first step you can’t really move on from your circumstance as it all starts here!

You need to make a decision each day that you want to live.

I mean really LIVE – have energy, feel great, feel confident,  feel love. All those things that make your day worthwhile, you need to want it so bad that you can’t accept anything else into your life.

We always seem to accept 2nd best into our lives. This occurs in every area of life and we stick with the easy option or what we are accustomed to. We stay in jobs we hate, relationships that aren’t working and accept that our accept our body flaws as “genetic” and here to stay.

We have been conditioned by our environment and our upbringing to believe that this is it. Life is hard and we are all battlers.

Sure life can swing us some painful curb balls but we always have the choice on how we respond. We can choose to get up and get over it, we can choose to get help or take steps towards our desires. We have a choice to live exceptional lives just as misery is a choice.

You may be going through something really terrible right now and are screaming at me that you haven’t chosen this feeling and I get it, we don’t choose what happens to us, BUT we can choose how we react and respond to our pain and circumstances.

My sister lost her best friend to suicide earlier in the year. The details are really, really horrific. It’s one of those stories that you think only happens to other people or in movies. Without going into too much detail, she was with him just before it happened and was the one to go back and have to call the police. The last 9 months have been the worst of her life and she has gone through unbearable depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress.

BUT even though her soul is on fire with pain she makes the decision every day to get up and take care of her kids and husband and try to get through this. She makes a decision that she will try to look for the good in life even though everything is pointing her to believe that life is horrific and painful. She has bad days and she has horrific days, she hasn’t felt a glimmer of a good day in a long time but she gets up each day despite of this.

It’s not easy but the point is even in the worst circumstance you can take teeny tiny steps to get through your day and choose  to try to get out of your situation.

From the age of 14-21 I was chronically ill but I made a decision that I would be healed and that illness was no longer a part of me.

Through my 20’s I battled depression on and off to the point of wanting to end my life but I made a decision that I would fight it and live a life of joy

I made a decision that I wanted to take care of my body, feel vibrant energy and health,  turn back the clock, feel amazing every day and have a great body.

I make a decision each day that I will look for the best in people and look for the best in life and with those eyes I can see miracles each day!

I have recently  made a decision to take a huge risk and leap of faith and I am going to make my dream’s happen and not settle for a work life that does not serve me or others!

When you make a decision you also need to take action. It’s not always going to be easy but you take the steps to get to where you want to be, and you make the steps with the intention that this is for life.

Write out your goals and then write out the steps you need to take to achieve this. If you’re feeling really low then start by setting very small tasks for yourself to achieve throughout the day. Last month my sister decided to find something each day that she was grateful for take a picture of it and post it on FB. This re-focused her pain and forced her to try to find something positive.

This is not a dress rehearsal, this is it. We have one shot at this so we have to give it all we have.

Everything that you desire, whether that be better health,  to lose weight, find a job you love, a relationship, healing, or whatever it is. EVERYTHING already exists for you. The kingdom of heaven starts here. You can experience it in this life but only if you make the decision to manifest it, you need to make the decision to give it everything you have and you need to make the decision that you will not give up on your goal until you see it, feel it, touch it.

Can you do that?!

What is one thing you can change this week to make steps towards your goal?

Always believing in you

Lyn xx

How To FEEL Good Naked

6 Nov

How you feel about your body is much more important that how you look. There are many woman with stunningly perfect bodies who don’t feel good in their own skin.

So many woman are so busy striving for perfection that they forget to enjoy the journey.

Your light within is what will illuminate your true beauty and make you much more attractive to others.

Love yourself first and foremost and focus on your beautiful qualities rather than focus on your flaws. What you focus on in life is what will be prominent in your daily life. Continuing to think your fat will make it very difficult to lose weight.

Make the conscious decision to take care of your body and be as healthy as possible and then give it over to the universe. This is when you will start to see yourself in a beautiful light and you are more likely to see results.

Lately I have been a little too obsessed with trying to look perfect. As a health and fitness blogger with a desire to turn my enthusiasm for nutrition and fitness into a full-time gig has made me focus on perfection a little too much. Recently I really had to check in with myself and ask myself why I was doing this? Was I working out like crazy because I wanted to be healthy or was I trying too hard to look perfect?

My motivation to exercise was always to get my endorphins kicking and to be healthy and fit, but somewhere along the line something shifted and I became a little too concerned with my flaws or more so what wasn’t perfect. It didn’t help when someone started pointing out my body flaws and driving me to try for perfection (damn those PT’s).

I had never really worried about my body before and had  always viewed my body well. When I first started to put on weight I actually loved having curves and my stomach never ever worried me!

When I started obsessing over exercise I knew that something was definitely off. I am fairly intuitive and know when there is deeper stuff going on. I spend so much of my time delving into personal development books and know the role our thoughts have in our reality so luckily I could see what was going on with me before it got out of hand.

When you strive for perfection it is usually something else that is missing in your life and it is often a way we distract ourselves from the underlying issues.

I will be completely honest and open and share with you that a lot of my insecurities of late have been around being single at 33. I  have been single for too many years to tell you and it does get it in my head. I have an amazing wonderful life and am incredibly blessed in so many areas but this is one area that I feel brings me down.

There are many times I feel  like I am not good enough. I often face rejection and feel unattractive because of it. I know perfectly well that I can attract guys but I can never attract the right one who wants to be with me. This is something I struggle with every day and on a very deep level it makes me feel like a failure.

It’s not something I talk too often about  and most of the time I pretend I am perfectly fine with it, but with you I will share the fact that I am not.  The older I am getting the more pressure I put on myself to have the perfect body to attract someone.

Working out does take my mind off it all and I will always advocate exercise to get you out of your head but there are days when I am leg pressing  120+kilos and questioning why I am putting myself through the torture!

I share this with you so that you can be aware of your  own insecurities and to name them. As soon as I recognise behaviour that is not healthy for my mind and soul I know to give it over to the universe and let it go.

I will never be perfect and that’s ok.  I would rather work hard on being a beautiful soul than have a perfect body.

After enduring many years of illness I know that each and every inch of my body is a beautiful blessing and I will honour it. I know that if I eat a cheeseburger and don’t work out that it’s ok.

I am incredibly thankful  for a metabolism that most woman would kill for and most of the time I have the freedom to walk around in a bikini and feel confident and liberated.

We all have something  about us that sets us apart from everyone else. I know you do too!  Own the things you love about yourself and let go of the things that don’t matter.

You are beautiful and intelligent and funny and sexy as hell.

Yes you!

Owning this and knowing this is the secret to looking good naked.

Every woman and man wants to look good naked or at the beach and I promise you there is no magic pill, diet or exercise routine that can make you look good if you don’t FEEL It!

Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. Just FEEL it!

I read recently that one of the easiest ways to feel good about ourselves is to recognise the beauty in others and give compliments!

See beauty everywhere and you will start to see the beauty within. Ever noticed how the women that are always attacking other woman, particularly bitching about someone else’s looks are usually incredibly insecure. People treat others how they see themselves. So start treating other people with admiration and see their inner beauty and soon enough you will recognise your own!

I am cutting down my crap of wanting to be perfect. Sure I will still be happy if my abs show up (and trust me you will be hearing about it!) but I am not going to worry too much about it. This is me, like it or not! Heck how often do I show my god damn abs anyway! Who cares!

I want you to join me in this lovefest and take a look at the reason’s behind your desires to lose weight, gain weight, tone up or whatever. Ensure that you have set the RIGHT INTENTION. With the right intention you will succeed.

Believing in you my loves.

Lyn xx

Mission Body Love: 15 Tips to Better Body Acceptance

10 Oct

Guest blog by Elise McDowell

Embrace your body acceptance

Kids crack me up man. They’re so bluntly honest about everything it can be quite refreshing an yet quite confronting.

I remember when I started nannying for this family and on the first day the youngest came up behind me and smacked my butt and blurted out “You’ve got a big bum!” and within a millisecond I replied “Well my boyfriend loves it big!”

I had just defended myself against a 4yr old. Wow.

After the day was over I remember thinking silently in the back of my mind “Oh my god, do I really have a big butt? I do, don’t I! Everybody I walk past is thinking that as well.. OH MY GOD THAT’S WHY PEOPLE STARE AT ME!! Am I… fat? OH NO I AM AREN’T I!?!?” and cue bursting into tears.

Honestly wtf?

As small or stupid as this incident may seem, it was a huge indicator to me about how I really felt about myself and it wasn’t good.

This (among maaaaaaaaany other incidences) started my journey to self love and care. BOOM! And it’s not a case of one day it just slaps you in the face and you know exactly what to do, it’s more of a series of slaps in the face that clue you on to something not being ‘quite right’.

So off I started and I was keen to do whatever it took to make me feel better about myself and my body (and that’s another huge factor that I believe you need, the ‘I will do ANYTHING attitude’) and below I decided to share some of those things with you to help you on your mission.

Body care love self acceptance
Mission Body Love: 15 Tips to Better Body Acceptance
  1. Take up a class of something you’ve always wanted to do (i.e burlesque, desert making, pole dancing etc)
  2. Create for yourself a weekly pampering ritual whether it’s a bath with your favourite salts and oils or a spa at your local swimming club.
  3. Spend more time naked and familiarizing yourself with your body.
  4. Write about how you’re feeling in your self love journal.
  5. Find/buy/create outfits that make you feel good/sexy/hot/cute/beautiful/gorgeous etc.
  6. Practice EFT and using affirmations.
  7. Talk to people you trust, have a sounding board.
  8. Dance literally as if you were the most un-co person in the world.
  9. Find things that make you laugh – whether it’s a comedian, youtube vids, fail compilations etc.
  10. Step outside of your comfort zone.
  11. Think about parts of your body you do love and amplify that ‘love’ feeling.
  12. Try a new exercise, sport or group class that you’ve wanted to try.
  13. Read books with similar themes i.e Eat, Pray, Love
  14. Work on your limiting beliefs with books and audio programs (Change your brain, change your body by Daniel G. Amen is an eye opener!)
  15. Stop waiting for permission to do the things you want to do and DO them. Write at the top of a page ‘What do I Want?’ and then sit there and write! Then go and do them!
I think a lot of people get stuck between wanting to change how they feel and taking the action to change it – because that is the only way you will ever feel better about yourself.. taking action.

So if life has been slapping you round lately, how’s about we start looking to take some action?
I know… It’s scary, you don’t want to, you feel lazy, you can’t be bothered, it terrifies you, you have no time, you’re too busy, you’ve got kids, you’ve got work, you’ve got a boyfriend, you’ve got uni.. blah blah blah.
Just remember….. There are two types of people in the world, those who have reasons & those who have results. Taking action doesn’t require much, only courage. The universe handles the rest.Which one are you going to be?

Happy body lovin’
Elise xo

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Elise McDowell is the creator of The Inner Vibrance Project 

Elise is here to help you work your way to a self-loving, magic-making, positive thinking, dream chasing and play making person so you can live your life the way you want, all the way to the end!

I am a regular visitor to her blog so I recommend taking a look at her website www.elisemcdowell.com and signing up for regular doses of positivity and inspiration.

Overcome Negative Thinking – Start Your Day Right!

19 Aug

Don’t let fear based thoughts rule your day. The key to happiness is choosing to be happy each day!
Start your day right by making the choice to be happy and love your life…..

The Secret of Staying Fit and Healthy

18 Aug

There is a message that I am really passionate about sharing and will continue to do so on this blog and that is to encourage you to pursue health and fitness with the intention of taking care of yourself, rather than the main intention being to look a certain way!

So many people diet and exercise from a place of fear and ego and this will only rob you energetically, therefore it will not successfully keep you healthy. When dieting is tied up in low self-esteem then you are doing more damage than good because your mind will go to a place of obsession and fear.

Don’t make your life about trying to look a certain way. Live your life with passion and be a person who loves every part of their life including your body.

You are a miracle, you are THE miracle. Connect to this miracle feeling to bring abundance in every area of your life.

Do what makes you feel good and NEVER feel guilty. You deserve to do things that make you feel good.

If eating a little ice-cream makes you happy, then make it a special occasion and enjoy every bite. There is nothing wrong with the occasional treat so don’t feel guilty afterwards. Enjoy it, savour it and walk away with a smile on your face. Not feeling guilty and fat!

When you come from a place of love and feel good about yourself, you won’t be turning to food as an emotional crutch and you will be geared towards nourishing your body rather than filling it with crap.

In many cultures sweet food such as cake is only eaten during celebration, so they have learnt to enjoy their cake, but they know it’s not for every day. Learn from the way other cultures eat and don’t be fooled by the marketing of huge food corporations who make you think you can’t live without their processed food product.

Love yourself enough to want to take care of yourself! Exercise to experience the natural endorphins of being fit, there is nothing like it! Nothing tastes as good as fit feels!

And don’t forget to BELIEVE in yourself and your power to change the way you feel about yourself and the world around you.

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